Lost
by HappyCookiie
Summary: Sometimes... she can't win. Sometimes nothing goes right. Not feeling like she fits in her own world.. her feelings for an InuHanyou from the past being un-returned as his heart belongs to his first love.. all these things can amount to sheer despair of the heart. Sometimes she is no more than a strange Miko from an equally strange future... Sometimes she is just... lost.


**Author's Corner**

A short little fic I decided to write after searching for the meaning behind Kagome's name, and after the usual meanings that came up like "birdcage" and "basket-weaver", I came across the meaning _"lost"_. This meaning is my favourite when associated with Kagome since it represents her personality and situation upon being pulled into the past, as well as her awkward place in Inuyasha and Kikyo's relationship. In a way, she is lost. So that's where the idea for this one-shot came from!

**Summary: **Sometimes... she can't win. Sometimes nothing goes right. Not feeling like she fits in her own world.. her feelings for an InuHanyou from the past being un-returned as his heart belongs to his first love.. all these things can amount to sheer despair of the heart. Sometimes she is no more than a strange Miko from an equally strange future... Sometimes she is just... lost.

**Themes: **Angst/Drama.

Review and favourite if you enjoy! All the support is greatly appreciated!

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><p><strong>- LOST -<strong>

A Kagome short story

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She couldn't do it any more. She just couldn't.

A girl wearing a green sailor fuku darted like a rabbit through the overgrown forest bordering the small village of ancient Edo, her dark bangs having fallen into her face and covering the thick tears that had gathered in her soft cocoa eyes. She ran, blinded by her sorrow, and stopped before the thick bark of a tree with endless branches and a canopy that covered the night sky. She reached out her hands and pressed her palms flat against the hard wood, sighing softly whilst allowing her eyelids to slide closed. The cool night's breeze blew through her midnight hair and made it dance at her shoulders, tickling her cheeks and shoulders lightly, as she hung her head low, forehead rested against the hard trunk of the tree. She shook her head slowly as the tears that had begun to build eventually escaped her eyes and rolled down her rosy cheeks in thick droplets.

It had happened again. She had seen... _them_ together again - gazing into each other's eyes longingly, alone in the forest in the dead of the night and surrounded by the elegant forms of the white Shindamachuu, with no more than the moon and the glowing souls the slender eel-like creatures brought as a source of light... An InuHanyou with a long mane of silver, clad in red with an inherited sword at his hip, and a beautifully regal looking Miko with hair that very much resembled a curtain of fine dark silk...

Inuyasha and Kikyo.

Thick salty droplets slid down Kagome's cheeks as she sunk to her knees onto the grassy forest turf in desperation and loss, as she released a small sob of sheer despair. An owl hooted in the distance, oblivious to the young maiden's heartbreak so close by, as the insects that came out only in the summer slowly stirred and began clicking restlessly, as if they were mocking the little distraught Miko that sat pathetically at the stump of the Goshinboku. She grabbed a handful of grass from the ground and threw it hard into the emptiness of the night, replacing her sadness with frustration in the hope that it would ease the pain. But that didn't work any more, like it used to do... the pain didn't go any more no matter what she did. Pain. A hot sharp sting that shot through her heart like a knife - a constant reminder that she was, and always would be.. second best in the Hanyou's eyes. Second best to her former self, the very Miko that had tried on many occasions to take her life, as well as Inuyasha's himself. Yet his love for her never diminished, despite the unrequited love on Kagome's part. Kikyo was an opponent that none could beat.. that none could even come close to comparing to. Of course Inuyasha would choose her over her lesser, clumsy reincarnation from the future.

The hardest person to compete with is oneself... especially when the other version of oneself is the more beautiful, wiser, stronger version. Kagome knew she was no Kikyo, and she also knew that she never would be.

Kagome blinked several tears loose from her eyes, letting them slide down her face and drip from her chin, as she tilted her gaze skyward to stare up at the ghostly form of the moon. Her lower lip trembled slightly as the gentle moonlight reflected in her soft chestnut eyes, glittering away like stars. How long could she go on like this? Seeing the two lovers meet in secret and unintentionally eavesdropping their conversations.. to then just flee like a timid rabbit? How long could this torturous jealousy of hers last? What was the point of her love when it was no more than unrequited? What use was a rabbit to a dog when he had an angel to choose instead?

Rising to her feet slowly, with fatigue, she kept her palms against the trunk of the Sacred God Tree a little while longer before she took a step back and began to walk further into the forest. A chill was in the air and she rubbed her upper arms, the breeze once again catching locks of her hair and carrying it over her shoulders so that it twirled in bouncy spirals. She brought a hand up and tucked some loose strands back behind her ear. Her feet seemed to move on their own, taking her... somewhere. Anywhere, Kagome didn't care where they took her, just as long as she didn't have to lay eyes on the love she had seen in Inuyasha's eyes when he looked upon Kikyo. She wondered what it would feel like to have someone look at her with such raw emotion in their eyes.. such pure feeling. Kikyo was lucky, she decided. Lucky to have Inuyasha's affections.

The leaves trusted in the gentle wind and the little Miko once again turned her gaze to the moon. She wondered if the moon was ever lonely, so far up there with the stars miles away from where it sat suspended in the nothingness. Where no time passed, no life spawned, and no light dared approach. Everything stayed away from the moon. It was just a silent watcher of the luscious earth below... it's shadow. Life bloomed on the earth, and it was cherished by all - nature and people alike. But the moon... no life existed on its bare dusty surface. It was just empty.. unwanted.. second best. But it still had a place it belonged. Whereas Kagome did not.

Never before had she felt so lost.

Was it so much to ask for that look of compassion shown in Inuyasha's eyes? To wish for a reason for her being? Was it so much to want... to be found? Perhaps in the scenario where a young maiden from the present travelled to a cruel past of war and bloodshed, surrounded by Youkai and civil war... perhaps it was too much to wish for, even with the Shikon no Tama to grant the desire.

So with that last revelation of utter despair, Kagome Higurashi, reincarnated Miko from the future, sighed and walked on. Her heart heavy, and her soul still craving to return to its former more beautiful vessel. How she wished she could follow it.

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><p><strong>Author's Corner<strong>

And there you go! A short rambling of Kagome's situation. I've wanted to do this for a while since I have the right amount of sympathetic attitude towards her, that being because I've been in a similar situation to her in the past. This mood I'm in was the perfect source material to write this one-shot, and I hope it turned out okay! Please review if you enjoyed, or favourite/follow whatever. Thanks for reading!

~Happy


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